Recently, my husband and I decided to finally watch The Cabin in the Woods since it's currently on Amazon Prime Video. We're not usually into horror films, but we are big Joss Whedon fans and were vaguely aware it wasn't exactly a traditional horror film and was a bit of a spoof on horror films.
So, funny story: We were not previously aware of this, but Amazon has an accessibility feature for some of its movies called "Audio Descriptions". It's an audio track option where a narrator describes all of the non-dialogue scenes.
For some reason and unbeknownst to us, that track was automatically selected when we started the movie…
So from the beginning, we have this narrator describing every non-speaking scene in detail. We think it's kind of odd, but just assume it's part of the meta / spoof / comedy aspect of the movie, so we watch the whole movie that way.
Now, just imagine the various gore and sex scenes of this movie (or any campy horror movie) with a narrator describing key details in a matter-of-fact tone.
For example:
>! Holden removes his shirt, revealing his low slung jeans. Filtered light highlights the contours of his muscled, light brown skin. (timestamp 0:18:00) !<
>! Another splash of blood on the office window. Followed by a limb. (timestamp 1:16:00) !<
>! A man in chains hangs upside down, a crab-like robot chases a man down a flight of stairs, a zombie regards a scalpel by a victim, all this, and more! on the monitors (timestamp 1:16:34) !<
It was hilarious stuff and the narrator was by far our favorite character, but we thought it was a little strange the narrator was never revealed within the story. We were also anxious to see who did the voice in the credits, because I thought it sounded like Jeffrey Wright. But the credits roll and to our dismay, the narrator is not credited!
We are shocked and start googling "cabin in the woods narrator" and find nothing! After a not insignificant amount of searching, we finally discover the "Audio Descriptions" feature and were laughing about it for days afterwards (though we still don't know who did the narration!).
Anyway, now we cannot even imagine what the move was like without the narrator and are convinced this was the superior version of the film. Highly recommend any fans of dark comedy/horror give the narrated version a watch when you have the chance!