I watched this movie last night after putting it off for a while. I’ve woken up this morning and I’m still thinking about this movie at work.
SPOILERS AHEAD
I, too, am a victim of rape, and, like Nina, my rape was videotaped and spread online. I received no help from those who are meant to serve and have spent the past decade living in anger and rage. I was looking forward to a rape revenge movie to scratch that itch, but in fact, Promising Young Woman has given me so much more.
I was also told it was “regrettable” that I was “asking for it” and honestly what did I expect? That I was crying wolf. My previous sexual partners were spoken to. A whole profile of me was made as if I was the one being investigated and as if I had done something so wrong. This movie could have been my biography.
I have spent the past ten years fantasising revenge. Revenge on the men that did this to me, and the people who refused to help. And in watching this movie, it dawned on me. This anger and rage has been eating me alive and destroying my life for ten years. Seeking revenge isn’t going to change what happened to me. It isn’t going to work out the way it does in all other rape revenge movies. I’ll probably be killed. I’ll still never get real justice.
And in that, Promising Young Woman really does stand on its own in this genre. There are hundreds of rape revenge movies that end with the victim being victorious, having been snatched and assaulted by strangers. In PYW, that stereotype is eschewed from the reality that it isn’t freaks in the mountains, or criminals in alleyways. It’s your friends, boyfriends and brothers who don’t know the meaning of consent. It’s unrealistic to assume that a woman can get revenge for her assault and everything is wrapped up neatly in a bow. There are always consequences.
I understand how people may find it unsatisfying that Cassie didn’t murder the men that she went home with, but I think that was the point. Because as soon as she tried violence, she was murdered. Overall I think this is a more realistic account of rape revenge.
Promising Young Woman has given me the closure I didn’t think I needed. I am destroying and wasting my life further seeking revenge I will never get. Nina didn’t get her justice either. They weren’t arrested for her rape. They were arrested for Cassie’s murder.
Promising Young Woman was a refreshing take on the rape revenge genre, and showed that sometimes the best revenge is a life well lived, that by seeking revenge and justice so avidly, you’re going to destroy yourself or be destroyed, and that you’re not going to be the victor. And for some of us, that needs to be enough. Otherwise we’re just going to keep hurting.