Whoever takes the gig is going to be scrutinized by the public, put through the wringer, chewed up and spat out a dozen times before the first celebrity even hits the red carpet. That’s because these award shows are just glorified variety hours, stretched out 300% with the occasional award for Best Sound Mixing thrown in. And with variety shows almost a dead art at this point, it’s time The Academy put in charge the one troupe who still know what they’re doing in that arena – The Muppets.
Let The Muppets put on a show for a few hours, let them wreak havoc onstage and off, breaking up the monotomy of forced celebrity pairings with no chemistry and the introduction of the accountants. The number one complaint from audiences AND the guests is that the show gets dull after the first half an hour. Imagine Kermit MC-ing the night, interrupted by Animal in the bandstand, or Bunsen and Beaker who’ve made some sort of Oscar cleaning machine. Imagine if Fozzie came out and did a stand up spot at minute 45, heckled by Statler and Waldorf who would rightfully be in the balconies, commenting on the winners and losers and musical numbers. Imagine Gonzo getting Emma Stone on stage to assist him in a daring act that sends her flying into the wings during minute 102? Imagine Dr Teeth and The Electric Mayhem singing a rocking ode to film during minute 151? Imagine Piggy finding each nominee for Best Actress backstage throughout the night, attempting to sabotage them so she can take home the coveted gold statue? It would keep the show exciting and fresh, pumping new life in to what is seen as a dying event.